Family Matters
by HarvestBeauty
Summary: Larry has a heart to heart talk with Jack and reveals some shocking things. Companion piece to The Crying Game, takes place after the episode Larry's Sister. Rated T for language and thematic elements. Larry/Jack friendship.


_A/N: I apologize for the long and depressing story up ahead. The last thing I wanted to do was to write another drama/angst story so soon, but right after I had posted my last story, this story idea came at me out of nowhere and would not leave me alone until I wrote it. It is far fetched, twisted and strange...you have been warned. I am sorry for making Larry such a tragic character._

Larry's special knock sounded on the door.

"It's open, Lar." Jack called from his place on the sofa, never once taking his eyes off of the game broadcasting on the TV in front of him. He was so engrossed in the game that he even missed his mouth when he had tried to pop a potato chip in it, causing dip to drip down the front of his shirt. Grumbling curses under his breath as he wiped at the mess with a tissue, Jack heard the sound of the door opening and closing. Moments later, he sensed his best friend next to him. A commercial break finally came on, so Jack could spare a glance at Larry.

"Hey, there. Did you come to watch the game with me?" Jack patted the seat next to him.

"No, I actually came to talk to you about something. Are the girls home?" Larry glanced around uneasily.

"You're in luck...Terri and Janet went shopping. We can talk about whatever you want to...until the game comes back on, that is." Jack joked good naturedly. Smiling slightly at Jack's sense of humor, Larry joined his friend and sat next to him on the sofa. Jack stared vacantly at the commercials as he waited for Larry to speak up. Slight pangs of worry hit Jack as he sensed this nervous, fidgety energy coming off of Larry in waves. When he saw Larry drawing a cigarette out of a pack in his shirt pocket out of the corner of his eye, he faced Larry, frowning in concern.

"I thought you quit?"

"I thought I did, too." Larry huffed out a humorless laugh, lighting the cigarette up. "Got an ashtray?"

Jack scanned the table top for a moment before digging the long forgotten ashtray out from under some magazines, placing it in front of Larry. "Here you go, Terri uses it for her nail clippings. It's clean now, though."

"Thanks..." Larry nodded, drawing a puff from the cigarette before letting it out slowly. He narrowed his eyes as an afterthought to what Jack had said about nail clippings. "Gross..."

"Tell me about it." Jack snorted. "So tell me, buddy, what's on your mind?"

Larry put his cigarette out in the ashtray and started speaking hesitantly. "I wanted to tell you why I went so crazy about the Diane situation..."

"Hey, if you're here to apologize again, don't worry about it." Jack sighed a little bit in relief. "You've been apologizing non stop since it happened. She's your baby sister and you reacted the way any protective older brother would. Really, it's no big deal."

"Jack, I punched you in the face." Larry deadpanned. "You're my best friend. That's a _very _big deal."

"Like I said, don't sweat it. It wasn't that great of a punch anyway." Jack quipped.

Rather than smirking at the playful jab, Larry just sighed, staring straight ahead. He appeared to be mulling things over, like he was trying to decide what to say next. Jack's eyes drifted to the TV, vaguely aware of the game coming back on.

"Jack?" Larry began.

"Hmmm?" Jack was only half listening at this point. He expected another profuse apology.

"The reason I reacted the way I did is because..." Larry took a deep breath here, steeling himself. "Diane is not my sister, she is my daughter."

Jack froze, the game no longer having a hold over him. Had he heard his friend correctly? After a few seconds, he grabbed the remote and shut the TV off entirely.

"Oh my God..." Jack breathed, finally looking at Larry. He expected his best friend to break out into a huge grin and yell 'gotcha!', and got nothing back from him except a somewhat grim expression.

"You stay right here. I'm going to go get us some beers, okay?" Jack addressed Larry.

Larry nodded.

Jack got up from the sofa and went into the kitchen. His mind whirled as he opened up the refrigerator and got out two cans. He walked back out into the living room area, tossing Larry a can which he gratefully caught.

"You got anything stronger than this?" Larry joked wearily, popping the tab on his can.

Jack shook his head in order to clear it, sitting down beside Larry on the couch. He opened his own can, taking a sip from it.

"Wow..." Was all Jack managed to say when he finally regained his composure. "_Wow_. So, how old were you when...?"

"I was 17 when she was born." Larry answered his question before he had finished asking it. "16 when she was, you know, _conceived_."

"I'm not judging you, but holy smokes!" Jack exclaimed. "How did that happen?"

"Jack..." Larry took a swig from his own beer before smirking slightly at his friend. "When a man loves a woman, or in this case, when a boy loves a girl..."

"You know what I mean!" Jack cut him off, rolling his eyes. "How...how did...?"

Larry fell silent. He was hoping he wouldn't have to bring up this dreaded topic, but the mess with Diane had kind of left him with no choice.

"Jack, do you remember that stupid crying contest we had a few months ago?"

Jack paused, the sudden change in subject matter throwing him off.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Jack wanted to know.

"Believe me, it's related. Do you remember?" Larry sighed, feeling very drained and nervous.

"Yeah, I remember." Jack answered him. It was the understatement of the year. How could he forget? Months ago, in this very same apartment, Jack had playfully suggested that he, Larry, Terri and Janet engage in a crying contest when the girls had implied that men had no feelings compared to women. It had started out as a lighthearted battle between the sexes. Jack's attempt was awful, Terri's was passable and Janet's, of course, was excellent. Larry had been extremely reluctant to go, but the girls were teasing him and egging him on. After a while, Larry had surprised everyone by taking the contest to a whole other level by, not faking it like the others had, but by crying for real. Encouraged by the taunts of the opposing side, the girls, Larry went for the real thing and had pushed himself into having a meltdown right there in front of everyone. Shocked and concerned, the trio had done their best to comfort their near hysterical friend. That was on a Friday evening.

When he'd gone back up to his apartment, Larry had spent the whole weekend as a recluse. No visits and no phonecalls for two days. It was very upsetting. The girls had felt particularly guilty for having pushed Larry into it by making fun of him and Jack had blamed himself for coming up with the whole stupid idea in the first place. They were so worried. Janet was calling him almost every hour, Terri was slipping notes under his door and Jack had left baked goods on his doorstep. By Monday, they were ready to ask Furley to unlock his door. To their relief and shock, Larry had come down to visit them that Monday evening acting as if the whole thing had never happened. The trio had reluctantly followed suit, not wanting to push him away any further or risk losing him totally. Even so, it was always in the back of Jack's mind whenever he looked at Larry. What had caused him to snap like that? Jack was shocked that Larry would bring it up.

"You know..." Jack teased him gently. "You could've faked it like we did."

"I don't do anything half assed, Jack." Larry chuckled dryly.

"So, what kinds of things did you think about in order to make yourself freak out like that?" Jack asked him softly, before trying to switch to a lighter tone. "You know, Janet was so jealous...you even put her to shame."

"Oh, lots of things." Larry swallowed nervously. "My mind was like a tape on fast forward, I was just thinking of anything and everything to conjure up some emotion because the girls were so convinced that I couldn't. And I went a little too far. Whoops."

"Things such as?" Jack proded, helping him along. He was curious as to what this had to do with Diane.

"My father blew his brains out when I was 14 years old. That was one of them." Larry shook his head and took another drink of his beer. "I still to this day can't understand why he did that."

Jack was too stunned to speak. He just stared at Larry, waiting for him to continue.

"Luckily for us though, we're a big family. I've got four older siblings and three younger ones. The older kids really helped our mother out. They stepped up and got jobs and helped take care of the younger kids. The whole family kind of pulled together. Well, everyone except me. I was in the middle...not old enough to really help out much, not a little kid either. I kind of went nuts. Did a lot of stupid things." Larry recalled.

"What kinds of things?" Jack was morbidly curious.

"You name it, I've done it. I was always in trouble. Stealing, doing drugs...it's a miracle I'm not dead. I fought a lot. This one time I put a pencil right through a classmate's hand...although, to be fair, he was the one that started messing with me first. He never bothered me again after that. I was kind of mean. And, boy, did I sleep around a lot. You think I'm bad now? You would not believe how much I've mellowed out since then. I lost count after a while but if I had to guess, I'd say I'd been with at least a thousand girls. Never used protection, didn't give a shit about the consequences. Do you see where I am going with this?"

"Diane..." Jack gasped, putting two and two together.

"Yup, that's how Diane came into existence." In spite of himself, Larry couldn't help but smile genuinely when talking about her. "The one good thing to come from my whoring around."

"So, do you have any other kids out there?" Jack wondered.

"Not that I know of..." Larry was thoughtful. "But more than likely, yeah. I do know I caused a bunch of abortions. If I do have any living offspring that want to come crawling out of the woodwork to come and find me, they'll take one look at me and go crawling back in, I guarantee you that."

"So how did Diane avoid that same fate?" Jack asked.

"Her mother came from a Catholic family." Larry remembered. "Christine was her name. She was this cute little redhead that came from an Irish Catholic family. She was just one of many girls I was messing around with at the time. Unlike the other girls in the past though, she decided to keep the child. I wasn't sure what to feel about that at first, to be honest. But as time went on, something changed."

"Oh? What happened?" Jack inquired.

"I dropped the other girls and got married. She was 16 and I was 17. We got married about six months before Diane was born."

"Oh wow." Jack uttered in shock. "But you were both underage...how was that even legal?"

"She was pregnant, so it was permissible. Plus, we both had our parent's blessings. Well, with her it was more like her parents were encouraging it. They did not want their daughter having a baby out of wedlock." Larry answered him.

Jack sat there in silence, pondering over everything that Larry had just revealed to him. He couldn't picture his wild, swinging friend married with children at first, but then it did occur to him that these events took place over half his lifetime ago.

"So, how did that work out for you?" Jack awkwardly asked. "I mean, you're obviously not married now so..."

"It was kind of weird, but also sort of nice. I mean, settling down into married and family life sort of brought me this sense of stability that I had been missing for a few years. It was a relief in a way. I don't care how much of a badass you think you are, you do the right thing at the end of the day...or at least try to. I may not have gotten to marry the woman I loved, but I was determined to love the woman I had married. I didn't even know what love was at that point, but I knew it was something that could grow over time. So why not give it a shot? Unfortunately, I still had a lot of problems...I wasn't really husband and father material yet. So I did something really stupid." Larry said.

"What?" Jack asked him.

"When Diane was about a year old, I joined the Marines." Larry said simply.

"Oh, yeah! I knew you had a military background like I did, but I didn't know the circumstances." Jack remarked. "That must've been rough."

"Well, it was no Gomer Pyle, that's for sure." Larry cracked a small smile. "See, I thought the Marines would put me on the fast track to becoming a man. Discipline, structure...all that jazz. Plus, I could send money home to Christine and Diane. It's almost like a full time job, being in the military, you get paid and everything. You know what I'm talking about."

"Yes, I do." Jack nodded. "So, what happened?"

"There was a huge problem with my little plan. I wasn't home. I wasn't physically able to be there with my wife and daughter. I didn't know it at the time, but you have to serve four years minimum in the Marines...I thought I was only going to be there for a year at the most. What the hell did I know? Once you sign up, you become their property and sign your life away. So I was basically trapped there with a wife and a one year old daughter at home. Christine was even younger than I was. To her, it felt like I had abandoned her and Diane. She had to raise a baby on her own. I didn't plan on being gone for as long as I was. It was really, really tough on her. Looking back on it, I just should've gone to a trade school instead."

"So you guys got divorced?" Jack guessed.

"No, when Diane was a toddler, Christine dropped her off on my mother's front porch and disappeared. No one has seen or heard from her since. She could be dead, she could have joined a convent...who knows. She couldn't handle parenting her alone. I don't know why she didn't give Diane to her parents instead of my mother...I'm guessing she was ashamed and couldn't face them. But I got really lucky, because you hear of mothers placing children up for adoption behind the father's backs or taking the child with them and then the father never sees them again. We got to keep Diane in our family. Now, I didn't know this at the time. No one told me. I was in the middle of my service and I had no clue what happened until after my four years were up. I guess my family thought that I didn't need the added stress. But as for Christine...well, God bless her. She tried. I took her virginity, gave her a baby, basically abandoned her, ruined her life...I hope she's happy, wherever she is, truly."

Jack opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. His mind was going into overdrive at everything Larry was sharing with him. Before he could get his bearings, Larry continued.

"So, in my last year of service I was struck by lightning..."

"You were struck by lightning?!" Jack interrupted. He couldn't believe it.

"Yes, temporarily paralyzed for two weeks. It effectively ended my military career, which was fine by me because I was planning on going home anyway after my four years were finished. So, I went back home to New York, and there was Diane living with my mother. That's how I found out about the Christine ordeal. I had mixed feelings...I had lost a wife, but gained a daughter. She was a full fledged human being by now, not the little baby that I had last seen years ago. Walking, talking, observing everything around her. I was amazed at this beautiful little person that Christine and I created...I couldn't believe someone so lovely could come from someone like me. She had her mother's features and my coloring, if that makes sense. A wonderful blend of the two of us...it was very bittersweet. And then something magical happened."

"Something magical? Like what?" Jack was hanging on his every word.

"I turned into her older brother." Larry shrugged, smiling ruefully. "She didn't remember me or Christine. She was a happy, healthy and well adjusted soon to be kindergartener. I realized that my mother was doing an incredible job with her, far better than either I or Christine ever could have done."

"You mean Diane doesn't know you're her father?" Jack gasped.

"Are you kidding me? You've seen her. Even now, she's all wide eyed and innocent. She doesn't have a clue. Thank God." Larry replied.

"But how did you keep a secret that big from her? Why didn't you just tell her the truth?" Jack's mind was whirling with questions.

"Jack, I am a complete fuck up of a human being." Larry stated, causing Jack to do a surprised double take.

"Hey, watch it...that's my best friend you're talking about." Jack nudged him playfully.

"No, really. I had a decision to make. Let Diane be happy and healthy as my mother's child or let her be the child of a basket case." Larry said, pointing at himself. "Oh, I still helped raise her...I was just known as her older brother rather than her father. It was actually kind of nice. Our whole family helped raise her...it truly takes a village. Everybody pitched in to help. We were like a Greek, city slicker version of The Waltons...with a little twist. We were already a huge family with eight kids, so we just tagged her on at the end as the ninth."

"You mean...?" Jack stammered.

"Yes, the whole family is in on it. It's a group effort. A family affair. They agreed with me about the whole Diane situation. Everybody knew that I could not possibly get a child to turn out as well as our mother did...she did such a good job with her. I mean, you've seen her...she's a little angel. Could you imagine how she would've turned out if she had primarily been raised by me?" Larry asked him.

Jack fell silent, pondering Larry's question.

"Anyway, it's easier to conceal from her than you might think. We never had a burial for my father...he was cremated. He sits in an unmarked urn that belongs to my mother to this very day. He died three years before Diane was born, but we just tell her it was the same year of her birth. If she ever got curious enough, she could research the death records and find out that the dates don't quite add up and then the whole charade could come crumbling down like a house of cards. But so far, so good...she's so sweet and innocent. She doesn't suspect a thing. After all, why would her whole family _lie _to her?" Larry said, a slight bitterness creeping into his tone. "But do you understand why I can't tell her the truth? If she finds out that the people she thinks are her parents are actually her grandparents, and that one of her older brothers is really her father, and that her mother ditched her on a doorstep and is still missing to this day...well...it would destroy her whole sense of reality. She'll hate us all, especially me, if the truth is revealed to her. She's so wholesome and perfect the way she is now, I don't want to screw her up. I know it's a fucked up thing to keep from her, but I'm so afraid that she'll fly off the handle if she knew the truth...I'm so scared that she'll go crazy and start acting out and get herself into a lot of trouble. You know, basically start acting like _me_. I intend to keep this a secret to my grave. Maybe if there is a Heaven and if I make it there, she'll understand the reasons for this disgusting mix up."

Utterly exhausted from going through the long buried memories, Larry felt like he was being smothered in all of the emotions that they brought up. Jack watched as his friend dissolved into tears. Unlike the eruption of emotion months ago, these were quiet and softer...a slow simmering, bitter implosion of misery and self hatred and of mourning over what could have been. Larry bit his lower lip and furiously wiped away his tears with the sleeve of the dark sweater he was wearing, angry at himself for his past as well as for crying in the first place. Jack resolved to remain as supportive and non judgmental as he could be. He just quietly sat there, letting Larry have his moment. He was left with the impression that Larry probably cried himself to sleep every night over this stuff, and he wondered if that's why he needed tranquilizers. Larry's breath hitched in his throat and then he let out a quiet whimper, before taking in a deep, staggered breath.

"Sorry..." Larry said, blinking back tears as he tried to compose himself. "Cigarette smoke got in my eyes."

Jack managed a sad smile.

"So..." Larry continued, determined to finish. "When Diane was about to turn ten years old, I finally had my marriage to Christine annulled on what would have been our ten year anniversary. And when Diane was 13, I could tell she didn't need me anymore and that she was in good hands with my mother, so I moved out here to California for kind of a fresh start. I changed my last name from Dalliapoulos to Dallas, and yes, I _can _spell my original last name. And then I, being the best bullshitter that I know, became a used car salesman. And that is how I became Larry Dallas, older brother to Diane Dalliapoulos." Larry finished up his story with a sarcastic little flourish. Jack took a moment to breathe.

"So, are you finished now?" Jack gaped, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, I am finished." Larry smirked slightly, taking another puff from his cigarette.

"Holy shit, Larry. That sounds like a soap opera!" Jack's mind was reeling with how little he had known about his friend prior to tonight.

"I know, right? You have to laugh to keep from crying. Personally, I'd much rather be on a sitcom." Larry remarked wryly.

"Would it be really inappropriate for me to burst into applause right now?" Jack joked, causing Larry to snort in amusement.

"Applause, tears...take your pick. I don't care." Larry smiled tiredly.

Jack shook his head, feeling both overwhelmed and honored that Larry would unburden himself to him like this. As painful as it must've been for him, Jack could also tell that a huge weight had just been lifted off of his shoulders. It was like they were at a whole new level of friendship. He thought back to the whole sad and sordid tale he'd just heard. It occurred to him just how much life Larry had lived and how much pain he had been through, while still being relatively young.

"So, do you think you'll ever try it again? You know, getting married and having kids legitimately? It's not too late." Jack asked.

"Christine miscarried right before I left to go into the Marines, it was a little boy." Larry shuddered slightly at the memory. "I know that the chances of repeated miscarriages are slim, but still...I don't ever want to go through something like that again, so probably not. I do think about it sometimes, though."

Jack's mind was blown for what felt like the thousandth time that night. He didn't know how much more he could take. The truth was truly stranger than fiction.

"Thanks for listening, Jack." Larry's voice shook slightly with emotion. "I've never told anyone this before. But please don't tell Janet or Terri...Lord knows what they already think of me."

Jack found it sad that Larry didn't see that the girls would not be harsh or judgmental about these things, especially after the breakdown Larry had months ago. They saw him differently now. Nevertheless, Jack calmed his fears.

"I won't tell the girls, Larry." Jack promised him. "But I might go see a therapist and start telling him."

The boys had a good laugh over that. After they had quieted down, Jack grew pensive and thoughtful.

"Larry? What would you do if Diane ever found out the truth?"

Larry blinked, gasping quietly in surprise. For the first time that night, he was at a loss for words. He merely regarded Jack with a look of fear on his face.

The boys jumped violently when there was a sudden thud at the front door.

"What the hell was that?!" Larry whispered, eyes wide.

"Ugh..." Terri's voice was muffled, sounding out from behind the door. "Jack, could you give us a hand with these bags?"

Jack and Larry looked at each other, snickering in relief.

"Thank God." Larry joked. "I thought you had a poltergeist."

"I guess we should go help the girls, right, Pops?" Jack smirked, playfully punching Larry on the shoulder.

"But remember: mum's the word, right Jacko?" Larry couldn't help but respond with a corny play on words of his own, even though he was serious about the girls never finding out about any of this.

"Of course, Lar." Jack replied, this time all kidding was aside. The two friends smiled at each other.

"Jack?" Janet's voice called out, sounding irritated. She was obviously struggling with something heavy. "Will you please hurry up?!"

"Come on!" Jack clapped Larry on the back. "They'll be happy to see you. Let's go."

Together, Jack and Larry got up from the couch and hurried over to the front door in order to help the girls with their things.

THE END

_A/N: Ugh. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading! _


End file.
